I Filed The Divorce Papers This Morning

Okay, I finally did it after months of procrastination. I loaded my children up in the car and drove to the courthouse. I thought I would be nervous, but I wasn't at all. I had to make a stop by the copiers before I went to the courthouse because I needed 3 sets to file. One for me, one for the sheriff to serve him, and the originals stayed in the courthouse.

Now it wasn't my intent to have him served by the sheriff but when I gave him the acknowledgment papers last Monday to get notarized and back to me, he never returned them to me. So he left me no choice. Now keep in mind, this is weird because we still live in the same house, and he really doesn't know what's coming. Although I gave him the papers last week, I did it out of frustration, so he probably thought I wasn't going to move ahead until he got that back to me. Well, what a surprise he's in for.

I am filing these papers after a year and 3 month seperation from my husband. (we've only been married a total of TWO years so a lot of time hasn't been invested) We have been in the same house throughout this time, but sleep in seperate rooms. This also includes: no sex, no kissing, no touching, no hugging, no nothing. Just a daily hello and a brief chat about a bill that's due. Even with this, I admit we have co-existed quite well. He stays out of my way, and I have stayed out of his way. He spends most of his time in the garage until its time for him to come in and sleep on his bed. (which is also called "the sofa") Now that it's getting colder, he's starting to come in earlier. So that's going to mean more time in my presence that I won't be able to tolerate.

Although he's pretty much quiet, his vibe is still negative. You know how you can just feel a person's negativity towards you without them saying a word? Well, that's how it is here. I guess its a build up of all the things he said throughout the months like the following:

"I dont need people to make me happy" (said in a casual conversation to my mom about something else- but I saw an underlying meaning-- well he's now going to be ALONE without a loving family and playful children--that is until he finds wife no. FOUR--hee hee)
"Your business won't work as long as I'm here" (using that "we are one" thing to keep me in a bondage of sorts)
"I'm going to stay here and make your life miserable" (and he barely says a word--there goes that vibe thing again)
"I break my contracts" (isn't "marriage" a contract? well he said this in a joking way to my mom about something else, but I heard the underlying meaning- keep in mind I'm his THIRD wife!! - I know, I know...should have known better. :-)
"You are nothing without me and my paycheck"
"I'll quit my job before I give you child support"
"I dont want NOTHING from you" (that shows)
"You're not doing anything to benefit me" (meaning my business ventures- but it would have benefited him because anything I bring into the house he will benefit from..and if he would have been appreciative about it, I could have put him in the position to quit his dead-end job that he's had for 15 years to pursue his dream of starting a video production business. Duh?)
"You've let yourself go"- (whatever!- I'm 42 yrs young, gave birth to a healthy 2 & 3 yr old, and still look good)

On a brighter note, the holidays are coming up and I want to enjoy them with people I love and who love me. And although we have been "fronting" real well in front of our families, my "fronting" days are over. I'm done. I'm tired of sharing a closet with him...ain't that sad? That's the only thing we do share besides our 3 yr old son. And even with that, the clothes in there are clothes that he hardly wears. He's made a rack in the garage that he hangs his everyday clothes on.

We've been living like roommates but that's not healthy for the children. If they are going to have 2 parents in the home, they need to see an emotional connection between us, or at least some huggung and snuggling every now and then. And since we ARE married, there are boundaries that we can't cross. Like bringing opposite sex friends into the home, dating, etc. We may have our issues, but neither of us are trifling enough to do that. (I know there are many married people who do this anyway without a second thought) So for my chidren's sake, its time to let this go. I know it sounds weird to say that, but its better for my children to be with ONE emotionally happy parent, than two who are distant from each other.

The court clerk said that he will be served in a few days, and he'll have 30 days to answer to the complaint, and then we will go from there. We also have to take a parenting class seperately or on our own to go along with the final decree. So I guess I'll tell him about that either today or tommorow. I was debating on whether or not to tell him that I filed for divorce today or just let him be served. I may tell him tommorow. Today is my 2 yr old daughter's birthday. I want the day to end on a little more festive note. :-)

I will share his reaction later this week.

And I may go into details on how we reached this point, but now is not the time. The ink is not even dry on the complaint yet. :-)

The Lemonade Diet Recipe

This is the website where I obtained the recipe. I had to use a few substitutions and it worked out well for me.


http://mastercleansesecrets.com/index.php

My Experience With The Lemonade Diet

With the holiday season approaching, I know how I love to cook and especially enjoy my Soul Food around this time, so now is the time to make room for those extra calories. I'm on a mission to lose 15 pounds by the end of the month. I've heard alot about the Lemonade Diet, better known as the Master Cleanse, and thought I would give it a try. In summary, I lost 5 pounds in FIVE days!! I only did it for 5 days, and expecting to keep losing as the days go on...this is day 7, and the only thing I ate since finishing my fast was a bowl of vegetable soup, and a few crackers yesterday and I'm still not that hungry. Today I'll have more vegetable soup and crackers, and drink plenty of orange juice or water w/lemon, and that will do it!! Feeling as if you HAVE to eat all day is a mindset. You can survive without 3 meals a day. :-) Okay, so let's see how my first 3 days went:

Day 1

I woke up hungry with slight hunger pains. Normally that doesn't happen. I even ate some barbecue chips, a few cashews, and a glass of cherry coke around midnight. And I normally don't eat snacks that late, but still didn't expect to wake up hungry. I went back to bed after putting my daughter on the school bus at 7:00am. Woke back up at 10:30am. This is when I drank my first glass of the lemonade.

I prepared my full days' supply the night before so it would be cold. I'm not a water drinker, so if I were to drink this stuff, it would have to be cold. (as its recommended anyway) I used an empty 64 ounce Juicy Juice container to make my full day's supply.

I wasn't sure how it would taste, so I braced myself for the first sip. To my delight, it wasn't bad. Tasted like lemonade without a lot of sugar. So it was pretty tasty. The cayenne added a little kick, but it wasn't overbearing.

By 12:30, I had my first BM. (it was normal)

I never eat marshmallows, but around 1:30 p.m. as I was giving my toddlers a snack, I felt SO hungry & tempted to eat a few. But I didn't. And by the time 8:30 p.m. came around, I no longer felt any hunger and was 2 glasses away from finishing up Day 1's mixture.

Day 2

Today was an okay day. I started out with two BM's before 9:00 a.m. after drinking a cup of herbal tea last night. I didn't have any more BM's the rest of the day. But the headaches did start. I hear that this is common as the body goes through a detox. So I just dealt with it. They were not bad enough for me to take an ibuprofen.

My challenges came when I had to fix my toddlers breakfast. I kept it light to avoid too much temptation, so I fixed them some cheese grits & sausage. Oh! how I LOVE cheese grits, and wanted what was left in the pot SO BAD!! But I have a goal, so i just put the rest down the disposal. Darn it!

For dinner I roasted a whole chicken and made some veggie fried rice. The smell of that chicken coming from the oven was heavenly. Whew! that was a tough one. But I still had to cook for my children, right? Some things you can't avoid, but you must have discipline with this. Anyway, while slicing pieces of chicken to put on my children's plate, I couldn't take it another second. I took one bite, then another, and another until I had eaten the equivalent of 2 wings. That wasn't too bad, except I'm suppose to be on a lemonade fast. Okay, I said it. I cheated. I admit it. (smile)

Well after that slip up, I proceeded to take my daughter to karate class. After getting back home, I finished up the rest of the day's mixture a little here and there, and then had my cup of herbal laxative tea. Oh, by the way, I didn't drink a cup of tea this morning like the recipe calls for simply because I had to go out to run some errands and didn't want to be caught off guard without a restroom close by. But the good news about today is that when I had stepped on the scale, I had lost a whopping FOUR pounds since yesterday!! I was estatic about that. Well, it's 1:15 am and time for me to turn in for the night.

Day 3

I woke up about 9:00 a.m. with a slight heaache. It was much better than the one I had yesterday. So I take it that I had gotten past that stage of the fast. I wasn't tempted during breakfast this morning. I cured that by giving my toddlers a pop tart for breakfast. LOL! The rest of the day went quite well. But I did feel my stomach growling around 7:00 p.m. I chose to ignore it.

Days 4 & 5

I actually finished up my last full day's supply on Day 4. When I stepped on the scale on Day 4, I had lost FIVE pounds!! I figured I was losing weight at a good rate, so there was no need to do the entire 10 days. Day 5 I ate a can of Chunky's Vegetable Soup (no noodles or chicken added- just straight vegetable soup) and drank a glass of orange juice. Nothing else.

Basically, this is a great fast/diet to go on. As for me, I feel as if I have established some self-control in my eating habits and can still lose my remaining 10 pounds by just eating real light from here on out. I will let you know in a few weeks if I reached my goal.

The Next Millionaires

The next millionaires will come from:

*A Home Based Business


*Something relating to the internet


*Some type of internet-based training business

If you've been looking and looking for that perfect home-based business that will make you rich overnight, you might as well give up right now because it won't happen that way. All of the ads promising wealth and riches within a week is a joke.

It's realistically going to take you committing yourself to AT LEAST a 2-3 year minimum to make a six figure income in your chosen business. You're probably saying, "2-3 YEARS"?

Yes, but that's not long at all. You are willing to work at your JOB for 20-30 years, just to retire with $1000 a month or less coming in for retirement, so if you think about it from that perspective, 2-3 years is nothing. You fight with traffic, work hard at your job, come home, cook dinner, watch a little TV, and then get ready for the next day. And the cycle continues. It's called "the rat race". And that's not what I would call a "quality lifestyle". (scroll down to see what a "Quality Lifestyle" entails)

I am totally for the Network Marketing industry and residual income. Doing something once and getting paid over and over for the rest of my life is something I could get use to. There are many companies with wonderful products and services that you can get involved in. It's just a matter of doing diligent research on the company, requesting samples and catalogs, and finding a SPONSOR (or LEADER) to sign up under. I stress a GOOD Sponsor or Leader because your success will depend on how good of a sponsor you have. You'll need that support from your team leader when entering into this type of business from home. It's very easy to want to give up when the going gets tough, and a good sponsor will be there to keep pushing you on.

My favorite companies are the ones that I'll be writing about on my Blog, so needless to say, I would recommend these companies to anyone who's seeking to start a homebased business involving very little upfront money. The products are WONDERFUL, and the compensation plans are even better with the companies I support. And yes, I have been an Independent Consultant with all of them, and I can truly say that I made some good money with them all. The last one that I joined before launching my own product line is Beauticontrol. Being an Independent Consultant with Beauticontrol will allow you the chance to earn your very own NEW Mustang through the company's incentive program. Get ready to say "Bye-Bye" to a car note. :-)

With that being said, I will be posting a new blog every Thursday, so please sign up so that you can receive the latest post.

As promised, here's a picture of a "Quality Lifestyle":

*G.O.O.D.- (able to) get out of debt

*Having choices (do I get up and cook breakfast or enjoy breakfast out at my favorite eatery?) With a job, you can't even think about that because you're too busy rushing around in the morning so you just get it on the run or pick up a pack of crackers from the breakroom vending machine.

*Having time with family

*Being able to "give" without being concerned if you'll get something back in return. (especially when it comes to money) We're suppose to be the lender, not the borrower.

*Homes with acreage (God says that we shall have goodly "HOUSES" (plural) filled with good things that we didn't provide) (Deuteronomy)

*Vacation Home

*Able to travel when your're ready (no more putting in for vacation time at work and waiting on it to be approved)

*Getting respect from your peers

*No more poverty

*Financially free

*Cars (that you can pay cash for--- no more filling out a loan application and waiting on an approval---yuck that sucks!

Did you read all of the above? Great. Well as you know a JOB doesn't equal any of these things. Working a 40 hr. work week only produces slave wages because you're trading time for pay.

Until next week, think about changing your mindest so that you can become one of the next millionaires!